Lately, I have been thinking about the days I spent as a fuzzy Barbie doll. I wish this translated to the time my figure was svelte, my clothes stylish and my hair a teased blonde perfection...... but it doesn't. The term "fuzzy Barbie doll" is what the patients in treatment called alcoholics being detoxed with phenobarbital. In the facility I was treated, phenobarbital was used during the first week to prevent seizures during withdrawal. Unfortunately, the side effects included sedation and hypnosis- leading to fuzzy thinking and slowed responses.
Patients were required to participate in lecture and group therapy while taking and weaning off of phenobarbital. I am ashamed to say.... this could be entertaining. A fuzzy Barbie doll would slowly fall asleep, jerk awake and answered questions incoherently at times. However, there was a healthy appreciation for the high risk and complications of seizures during alcohol withdrawal.
I admit there are times I wish I was back on the regimen of phenobarbital. It is in moments when old ways of thinking creep back in and I want some form of escape from life. When this "want" appears, I acknowledge the feeling and then remember what lead up to becoming a fuzzy Barbie doll. It is definitely better living in the moment!
A blog written by a recovering alcoholic, Jane, sharing her lived experience from rock bottom to today. Jane is also a nurse.
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