Monday, March 12, 2018

History of Phone Avoidance

In my active alcoholism, I feared the phone.  Why?  Several reasons actually, but primary is simple avoidance.  I avoided debt collectors, family, friends, business calls... basic avoided the "real world" altogether.  I would often wake around 3am, take a shot of vodka and think "I am alright, I still have 5 hours before "the real world" starts.  Another reason... shame and guilt.  I did not want to face the shame I carried for drinking and letting my family down.

Saturday, I left my phone outside overnight.  Sunday morning I found my phone and miraculously... it worked.  I had multiple messages from my mother, sister and father.  I imagine the unanswered phone took them back to the alcoholic tornado of past.  Today, I give them the right to be worried, concerned and gratefully answer questions to relieve their fears.  They deserve this from me.

How do you respond when others jump to conclusions due to past alcoholic/addict behavior?

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