Crossing all Cultures

This evening, I discovered Those Who Know has an audience from Thailand, Czechia, Colombia, South Korea, the Netherlands and Russia.  I have never travelled to these countries, but appreciate the different lived experiences of the readers of this blog.

One narrative all addicts share is the experience of suffering.  My alcoholism caused me to suffer spiritually, emotionally and physically.  What is your experience with suffering related to this disease?  Some reading this blog my be loved ones and friends of an addict.  How have you suffered?

I am a Registered Nurse and an Alcoholic

My sobriety date is May 10, 2016.  I can say with all honesty- I have not had a drop of alcohol since this date.  However, I will always consider myself an alcoholic.  I know if I have one drink, my disease will take over and I will take more.

So, how is the public protected as I practice as a nurse during this early recovery period?  I am under a monitoring contract through my state's board of nursing.  I actually self- reported that I was seeking treatment and applied to the board's alternative to discipline program.  Because I qualified for the alternative to discipline program, I do not have disciplinary action against my nursing license.  However, I do have to meet specific guidelines (for a period of 5 years).  Including:

• Completed a comprehensive evaluation and the recommendations for rehabilitation.
• Attend weekly aftercare program (approximately 1 hour weekly)
• Attend a minimum of (3) support meetings- must be based on 12 Step recovery (i.e. AA, NA, CA ect)
• Limit hours working as RN to 84 in a 2 week period
• Individual counseling
• Random drug testing including daily check-in
• Submission of verification of all prescriptions to the board
• Quarterly reports from employer, counselor and continuing care facilitator
• Monthly self report
• Practice stipulations

Is it worth it?  Absolutely!  The requirements above are simply what I need to do to stay sober.  Is it overwhelming at times?  Sure, but my chances of long-term sobriety are greatly enhanced through the program.

But... I Want it NOW!

I haven't posted a new entry in a while.  See, I became frustrated because I did not see any evidence my blog was being read.  I was easily steered off my goal of sharing something that gave another person strength and hope.  It was so easy to quit and start looking for the next "project" that would bring me instant gratification.  Somewhere, filed deep in my mind, is the knowledge that addiction is about instant gratification.  For me, I wanted to drink enough to immediately forget and avoid responsibilities in life.

I continually learn in recovery and this time... I am learning another lesson in delayed gratification.  I am going to take a deep breath and wait for the good things to unfold.

What gifts have you received from delayed gratification?